I have been on this earth for 23 years and I have never in my life played the sport of soccer. I always thought it was a boring sport and there was no point to it. UNTIL LAST WEEK. My whole perspective changed as I put on my kit and strapped up my shin guards. It is an electric and invigorating sport to play. This had me thinking… I wonder how I’d do in one arguably of the hardest sports feats: The Triathlon.
Swimming, Cycling and Running are all that separate me from athletic immortality. I will be breaking down each component and how I’d stack up and why. This is an Olympic sport could you imagine me with a gold medal around my neck? I’d look like Kurt angle but way cuter.
Swimming: A basic training session for swimming is 45-60 minutes in the pool or water to practice. My goal is to do 8 hours a day in the water. I am speed and I am speedo. I think realistically in this portion of the triathlon it would be my second best of the three categories.
Cycling: This is where I would thrive. As a young boy, many people would say hey there goes the kid on the bike again as I would whiz past them and leave a cloud of dust surrounding them. I was born on a bike and I could cycle my way through a windstorm. I think this would be the best of the three categories for me personally. I would probably finish first in this based off pure grit alone.
Running: This would be my worst category. While I have the speed of a cheetah on roller skates I have the endurance of an 80 year old lady with asthma. I would come in last place, straight up. I would dust everyone for about five minutes and then I’d be gasping for air and begging for my bicycle back. These three categories would allow me to assert my dominance and claim my athletic immortality.
An average to good time for this event would be about 11-13 hours. Due to my extensive training and athletic ability I think I’d get the job done in 11 hours, 40 minutes and 32 seconds. Let me know how you think I’d do and if you personally could challenge me on this time.