*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events. Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found to actual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.*
Bills WR Stefon Diggs (14) politely requests for silence from New England Patriots fans as he celebrates another brilliant touchdown reception. The Bills went on to win 33-21, taking back their rightful ownership of the AFC East. (Source: Getty Images)
FOXBOROUGH, MA — No one has heard from the people of New England since the Buffalo Bills bested the New England Patriots on Sunday afternoon.
Radio silence ensued following a phenomenal catch in the endzone by WR Stefon Diggs, in which Daddy Diggs told the Bitches of Boston to “shut the f!&$ up.”
Since the beatdown, written reports have come from New England that the environment is “similar to that of A Quiet Place” and that “people fear for their lives of making a sound, lest Josh Allen appears out of thin air to bulldoze through them.”
Patriots’ HC Bill Belichick did something right for once in his suspect career, serving as a role model to the people of New England after showing up to his press conference and not saying a word.
No one knows how long New England folks will be in this state of absolute silence. For now, the only sound observers can hear in the area is the subtle “sssss” as Pats’ staff tamper footballs in their favor.
GO BILLS!