BY: SOME GUY NAMED STEVE
Folks draft night has come and gone and now it’s time for my favorite part of the fantasy football season, the trash talking. Today, I’ll go over every team in the Trainwreck Sports Fantasy Football League, give my thoughts, predictions, and favorite picks. Feelings might get hurt, but hey, that’s fantasy football!
Bishop Sycamore Super Fan (MereKat)
I can’t think of a better person to start off our team grades than the wonderful MereKat. In a completely legitimate “draft order randomization”, MereKat was lucky enough to get the first pick and with it he took the obvious selection of Christian McCaffrey. He then followed that up by taking Keenan Allen and James Robinson. I loved both of those picks, especially Allen who has a very good chance to be a top 10 WR as the top option for the Los Angeles Chargers.
Outside of his three studs it was pretty clear what the draft strategy was for Merekat: high upside. Throughout the draft, MereKat took many wide receivers who have shown flashes of elite potential including Diontae Johnson who was a top ten WR in the second half of last season. He paired Diontae with Courtland Sutton who is coming off a major injury but has a very good chance to be the number one option in Denver. It also wouldn’t be a MereKat team without some Buffalo Bills (Gabriel Davis, Devin Singletary) and famous Jameis Winston.
Grade: A-
Projected Record: 10-4
Danger Zone (Chris Alaimo)
Prior to the draft Chris informed the fantasy football guys that he was “feeling very good” beforehand and that he was going to make some bold picks. He stayed true to his word by going with two stud wide receivers (Tyreek Hill and Stefon Diggs) right out of the gate. Chris then followed that up by taking the first quarterback off the board and to no one’s surprise, it was the sensational Josh Allen.
The rest of the draft was all over the place for Chris because he needed to fill his hole at the running back position. He started off by taking Miles Sanders and Mike Davis as his starters with Sony Michel and Jamaal Williams as some of his backups. I’ll be honest… I’m not sold on any of these guys, and I’m concerned that none of them will be workhorses this season. Chris also took two bench quarterbacks, Trevor Lawrence and Trey Lance, who both have a ton of potential, but won’t get much use on his team. Chris definitely took some risks in this draft and I’m not overly confident they’ll pan out. However, a team with Allen, Hill, and Diggs will always be competitive.
Grade: C+
Projected Record: 6-8
Anti Daksers (Ty B)
First off, I want to give Ty B credit on having one of the most creative and funny names in the league. Although I’m a bit surprised he took Dak Prescott with all of the concerns about his shoulder that Ty brought up on Free Money Football. Anyways, lets talk about the rest of his team because there is a lot to like here. Ty got the third pick and with it, he chose Alvin Kamara. If you’ve listened to any of my shows, you know how much I love Kamara. Ty paired Kamara with Joe Mixon and Clyde Edwards-Helaire, giving him a dynamite trio of running backs who are all great pass catchers.
Although he didn’t invest high picks in them, Ty put together a solid starting receiving core of Cooper Kupp, Chase Claypool, and Deebo Samuel. These players may all be number two options on their respective teams but all three guys have the talent to breakout as a WR1. The biggest concern for me with Ty’s team is his bench. He has one of the best starting lineups in the league but outside of Zack Moss and Ryan Tannehill there is just a bunch of underwhelming wide receivers.
Grade: B
Projected Record: 8-6
Hot Chubb Time Machine (Some Guy Named Steve)
Before I get the “you’re so biased” comments, just understand that I, Some Guy Named Steve, drafted my team so of course I’m going to like it. I was fortunate enough to get the 12th pick, one of my favorite draft positions. With my first two selections, I drafted two workhorse running backs in Nick Chubb and Najee Harris. Yes, I know Harris is a rookie but he has no competition in the Steelers backfield and should be used in the passing game as well. I was lucky enough to see D’Andre Swift fall to me in the fourth, along with Kyle Pitts in the sixth. My quarterback is a polarizing pick in Jalen Hurts, but by now you should all know how high I am on him for this season.
Overall, I was very happy with my draft. I got a lot of high upside wide receivers including Julio Jones and Bengals rookie Ja’Marr Chase, but most importantly, I was able to secure the greatest running back in UB history, Jaret Patterson. I’ll keep this short and simple. I like my team. Having three rookies in my starting lineup is risky and I may start off slow but I’m happy with how my draft turned out.
Grade: A-
Projected Record: 9-5
Slick Season (Slick L)
If there was one person’s draft I was most intrigued to see how it’d turn out it was Slick L‘s. Slick picked one spot ahead of me but luckily, besides a few picks, he wasn’t taking any of my favorite guys. Although, Slick did snag superstar tight end Travis Kelce. Not only is Kelce an amazing player, but it gives Slick a huge advantage at a position that isn’t very deep. Slick also grabbed Aaron Rodgers at the end of the fifth round, who was the 2nd best quarterback last year and could be just as good this season. Slick also got incredible values on JuJu Smith-Schuster and Michael Gallup when he selected them in the seventh and eighth rounds.
Other than that, I’m not fan of Slick’s team. His starting three running backs (Jonathan Taylor, Chris Carson, James Conner) are all guys I am avoiding at their current ADPs. Two of his receivers, Mike Evans and Jerry Jeudy are in offenses where there are a lot of mouths to feed. It may be Slick on Saturday’s but the NFL plays on Sunday and the forecast doesn’t appear to be in Slick’s favor.
Grade: C-
Projected Record: 4-10
The Brady Bunch (Donovan Holden)
On draft night I was trash talking Dunny most of the night. He is my week 1 opponent and I wanted to get in his head. Unfortunately for me, Dunny had a very good draft. His team will focus around Aaron Jones and his incredible trio of wide receivers. He landed Justin Jefferson, Terry McLaurin, and Chris Godwin, all of whom have potential to be WR1s and even could finish at the top of the entire position. Jefferson and McLaurin are two elite young players who are the clear top receiving options in their offenses, and Godwin was the top wide receiver just two years ago.
Dunny made a bit of a homer pick with his tight end and quarterback when he selected the GOAT Tom Brady and hometown tight end, Jonnu Smith. Neither of these picks wow me, and I’m not surprised in the slightest that Dunny took them. One of the biggest strengths of Dunny’s team is his depth. Kenyan Drake, Terrace Marshall Jr., and Rashod Bateman are three players that might get off to slow starts but could be league winners down the stretch. As much as it pains me to say this, I really like Dunny’s team and I think he has a very good chance to be one of the best teams in the league.
Grade: B+
Projected Record: 8-6
Can u Diggs it SUCKA (Jake Majka)
The second member of the Happy Hour Hoops boys, Jake Majka and had a very interesting draft. He started off by taking Saquon Barkley at 9th overall. Now the big question here is health and if Barkley can get to the level he was at before the major knee injury. I am avoiding Barkley this year because of that concern but he’s got league winning upside. The big problem for Majka is that his other running backs also have giant question marks. Josh Jacobs looked awful last year and is now sharing the backfield with Kenyan Drake. Javonte Williams will be splitting time with Melvin Gordon, and Rashaad Penny’s role is unknown.
The strength of Majka’s team is his wide receiver depth. Calvin Ridley, Odell Beckham Jr., and Robby Anderson make up a great starting core. He paired them with Jaylen Waddle, Darnell Mooney, Emmanuel Sanders, and Elijah Moore who all have a ton of upside. That should make up for his trainwreck (see what I did there) of a running back situation. I also have to give Majka a shout out for sniping Rhamondre Stevenson and the Patriots defense ahead of Dunny!
Grade: C
Projected Record: 5-9
Country Roads, Take Mahomes (Rob Ryan)
Coming into the draft I considered Rob a wildcard. With him being a die hard Jets fan in a league filled with Bills fans, I wasn’t sure what he was going to do or how far he’d reach for his guys. The only thing I knew for certain, is that Rob would eventually draft Zach Wilson. Luckily for Rob, his fantasy team will not ride or die with Wilson, because he also has a guy named Patrick Mahomes. What surprised me the most was the only other Jet Rob took was Corey Davis at pick 66. While that may seem like a reach, I defended Rob on the livestream, saying how high I am on Davis this year. He has a great chance to breakout.
Besides the Jets, Rob made a lot of picks that I liked. He took Ezekiel Elliott at the 7th overall pick, who was the third best running back in fantasy when Dak was healthy. Rob also took Antonio Gibson, an explosive running back who *as of now* is the Washington Football Team’s starter. My favorite pick of Rob’s has to be Devonta Smith at 79th overall. Smith should be the number one option in Philadelphia and has big play potential every time he touches the ball. Rob took a chance at 90th overall when he selected Michael Thomas. Thomas is currently out for six weeks and could be longer but if he comes back and is fully healthy this might be the steal of the draft.
Grade: B
Projected Record: 7-7
Maskin N Gaskin Mother Tucker (Jordan Rosas)
If you listened to any of the Trainwreck Fantasy Football shows this season you would know that Jordan and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of players. With that being said, Jordan did take a few guys that I really like. His first pick was Derrick Henry who I think is being drafted at his ceiling, but it’s hard to complain about a guy who had 378 carries last year. Jordan’s second round pick was DK Metcalf at 20th overall who I love and think could finish the year as the best overall wide receiver. Jordan also took Chase Edmonds as his second running back who has a great opportunity to be a PPR monster as the starter in Arizona.
Besides those players I’m not in love with his team. Jordan took Myles Gaskin who I am avoiding everywhere becasue I don’t belive the Dolphins will stick with one running back. Adam Thielen should regress now that he’s the number two wide receiver in Minnesota. He had an unsustainable touchdown rate last season. Jordan’s bench has a lot players that don’t have high ceilings besides Michael Carter. He does have George Kittle who if healthy can be as good of a tight end as Kelce. Jordan said it himself on draft night that he’s not thrilled about his team. Neither am I.
Grade: C
Projected Record: 5-9
Can I Hit Your Hyde (Cullen Tonge)
I’ll be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to Cullen’s draft but now that I am looking at it, I’m a fan. Cullen has two running backs I’m very high on this year in Austin Ekeler and David Montgomery. Taking Ekeler at 6th overall might’ve been a reach but he is poised to have a massive year, and we all know how much I love Montgomery. Cullen also has very deep receiving core that includes DeAndre Hopkins, Amari Cooper, Brandon Aiyuk, and Brandin Cooks. All four of these receivers have a possibility of being the number one option on their team.
With guys like Damien Harris, Malcolm Brown, Jarvis Landry, and Russell Gage as depth players, Cullen has one of the best benches in the league. Let’s also not forget that Cullen’s quarterback is Matthew Stafford who should have a career year with the Rams. I really like Cullen’s team. His ceiling may not be as high as other teams but he put together a very solid and deep roster that should give him a chance in the playoffs.
Grade: B+
Projected Record: 8-6
Megabyte Ronnie (Megabyte Ronnie)
If I was smart I would predict Ronnie to go 14-0 and say he has the best team to avoid getting thrown through a table. Well, I’m no coward so bring it on Ronnie because I’m about to tear your team apart! Let’s start off with the dreadful running back situation you have. Darrell Henderson Jr and Trey Sermon are guys I don’t want to start week 1 and both might not even start for their teams this season. Ronnie tried to give himself a safety blanket by having six of his seven bench slots used for running backs but there’s no one I’m overly excited about. It could be a streaming season at the most important position in fantasy if none of his backs breakout.
Besides the running backs I do like the rest of Ronnie’s team. His quarterback is Lamar Jackson who is super valuable because of his rushing floor and his wide receiver combo of Davante Adams and CeeDee Lamb might be the best one-two punch in the league. Antonio Brown and Tyler Lockett are risky but both can have top ten weeks and Darren Waller is essentially the number one receiver in Vegas.
Grade: C
Projected Record: 5-9
Touchdown Jesus of Suburbia (Jake Watkins)
Last but not least (maybe) we have the face of Trainwreck Fantasy himself, Mr. Wake Jatkins! I’ve done a number of shows with Wake this year and for the most part we are high on the same players so it’s not shocking that I like his team. Wake was fortunate enough to secure a top 2 pick and with it he took Dalvin Cook. Wake followed Cook up by going wide receiver heavy and I don’t blame him because he got three studs with A.J. Brown, Allen Robinson, and DJ Moore. The only surprising pick by Wake was when he took Kyler Murray 50th overall. There’s nothing wrong with the pick I was just surprised Wake spent high draft capital on a quarterback.
What makes Wake’s team very scary is his bench depth. Having Melvin Gordon and Ronald Jones as bench backs will be huge down the stretch as well as owning the handcuff to Cook, Alexander Mattison. Wake also has Mecole Hardman and Rondale Moore as depth players who both have super high ceilings if they get enough targets. Not much else to say, I like Wake’s team and I think he has a very good chance to win the league.
Grade: A-
Projected Record: 9-5
Overall I expect this league to be a very competitive and fun season filled with a ton of trash talk and a lot of victory laps. Best of luck to everyone this year except Dunny in Week 1! Good night now!
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